Failure is painful, disappointing, and demoralizing. But in addition to these obvious emotional bruises, failure can impact us on a unconscious level as well, and leave wounds that are far more psychologically devastating.
Recognizing the various psychological injuries we sustain when we fail and learning how to treat them will help you recover more rapidly and more fully, both psychologically and emotionally, and increase your chances of success in the future. I was reading Adapt: Why Success Always Starts with Failure — By Tim Harford and thought why not share a few gems, all of these points are not listed in this book, but by reading this novel this is what I've learned so far about failure and how to bounce back.
Acknowledge what wounds failure inflicts.
1. Failure makes our goals seem tougher. Failure impacts our unconscious perceptions such that our goals seem further and more out of reach.
2. Failure makes our abilities seem weaker. Once we fail we not only see our goals as harder to reach, we perceive ourselves as less capable of reaching them.
3. Failure damages our motivation. Numerous studies have demonstrated that whether we believe we will succeed or fail has a direct impact on how much effort we invest in reaching our goal. When we fear we are unlikely to succeed, we unconsciously invest less effort in pursuing our goal, and consequently, we are indeed less likely to attain it.
4.Failure limits our ability to think outside the box. Once failure makes us more risk-averse, it impacts our ability to think more creatively and to find solutions that are "outside the box" because by definition, such solutions entail less certainty and more risk.
5.Failure leads us to make incorrect and damaging generalizations. When we fail we often generalize the experience in sweeping and self-punitive ways, and draw incorrect and unnecessary conclusions about our general intelligence, abilities, capacities, and even about our ‘luck in life’ or what was or wasn’t "meant to be."
How to treats these wounds.
1. Fight the distortions: Recognize that failure distorts your perceptions about the task itself and about your capacities. Don’t ‘buy’ that you are incapable. Adopt a mindset of persistence and optimism and refuse to give up.
2. Revive your self-worth. Try to ignore your recent failure for a moment and make a list of the qualities and capacities you possess that should (at least on paper) make it possible for you to succeed. If you have trouble coming up with a list, ask a friend or someone who knows you well to remind you of your strengths. Read your list and reconnect to your potential.
3. Remind yourself of what success would mean to you. Recharge your motivation by reconnecting to the reasons you began pursuing your goal in the first place. Consider how you would feel if you succeeded, especially after having already failed at a previous attempt.
5. Reengage your creativity. Brainstorm new approaches by creating a list of every approach you can think of while completely ignoring whether it is realistic or possible. Do not censure your ideas at all just yet. Only once you have a complete and ‘crazy’ list should you go through it and think through what is or isn’t viable.
Just a small reminder to accept failure. As hard as it can be to see failure as anything other than something to avoid at all costs, it can be a learning experience. So that's all for today, hope you took something from that, God Bless and don't forget to #leanintolounge.